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It has been way too long..

Jun. 9th, 2015 | 01:55 pm
mood: cynicalcynical
music: all apologies - nirvana

I read onlne @highexistence that writing a journal can help you relieve stress. Maybe I need more help feeling the stress than anything, since there is so much to be done and so little motivation inside of me to do it.

I feel like a little kid writing in a journal again, but I guess that it is a hobby for any age. My biggest fear is that lately it seems like the days begin to blend into weeks, weeks into months, etc. I have nothing to write. And is a life not worth writing about a life not worth living? I doubt it.

The thing is, I think almost too much nowadays. I feel like maybe, just maybe, more people are waking up to all the social ills that plague our society. Sadly, history books don't record a time of utopia -- and I don't' understand why. Has humanity always been corrupt and misguided, praying to the god of money and power?

Sometimes I feel like 99% of the people who have money and power on this planet, and maybe many people that don't, lack one common thing: generosity. Even though I don't have a lot, I am always giving things away. I always give money to people on the street. And the worst thing is, this type of behavior is frowned upon. But why?

Everyone in this world should give everything away. It seems like the more you have, the more you want..and in our society, there is no cap to how much you can have. In essence, there are only a finite number of things on this earth (even money needs to be based on something) and the more you have, the less someone else does.

I wish that we as a society could make a collective goal of making sure every person on this planet has enough to get by on, but instead we are going in the other direction. So, where can I go to find peace and comfort? An online community, where I can collectively bitch and moan about the ills of our society? No, I don't think that will fix the problem. If I don't work towards fixing it though, one thing is for sure: I am making it worse.

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So Strange..

May. 25th, 2013 | 01:08 pm
mood: cynicalcynical
music: "lost and found" - elliott smith

I had this dream last night, so many actually, but the last one that I had I really didn't want to wake up from.

Let me start with the first one. I don't remember much of it anymore, just that someone was in my dream that I had never seen before and I was in love with him -- in my dream -- it was strange because, I wonder how my mind makes up these random faces...

The second dream, same type of theme, I was living in a land that must have been concocted in my head.. except this time, the people weren't. Bobby, my ex boyfriend from forever ago, was in my dream.. and, more unbelievably, so was his friend that was in his band at the time. I guess it's OK to admit it now, I was in love with his friend. The entire time I was dating him, it literally made me so mad to watch him when we went to parties and I would see him flirting with girls.

In my dream, everything picked up in the future... where my old relationship was long gone and now I actually had the balls to talk to him and tell him how I felt. And instead of being a dick he told me, like, fine.. you're right, we do belong together. It made me all the more pissed off that I got woken up. Now I'm going to have a shitty day, and sit around all day feeling that really strange feeling that one sometimes has come over them that they wish they could go back in time to that one moment, where he gave me a piggy back ride, and like, never let go.

I know I get way to sentimental about stuff. But there aren't many opportunities people have in life to meet someone they feel like they understand inside. I spent an eternity being depressed, getting upset, and I never come across someone anymore that I feel like, "wow, they get me". I can't ask for anyone to like the same music as me, to understand how I feel when I get upset and dark and just look around and literally hate everything -- this world, the way people talk to each other, I HATE IT. I hate how everyone lives in ignorance and literally doesn't understand that they are being oppressed by a government that only cares about the rich.

I guess, ill just go get my degree -- shut up, move on. At this point, I am prepared to be alone for the rest of my life, and that doesn't really bother me.

I wish, sometimes, that I could just live in my head.

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I don't understand.

May. 20th, 2012 | 03:27 pm
mood: worriedworried

There's a strange, ass-backwards trend in America that's spreading world wide due to the power of money. The same people who are selling America sugary foods, who are feeding Americans needless medicines aimed at maintaining illness instead of preventing, are running the American Medical Association that does the cancer research. Corporations are in every nation, meaning that an American company has ties to many third world countries. They influence government, lobby for laws that give them unprecedented access to cheap labor and tax breaks so they can maximize the money they make from US Citizens.

Banks have 9x as much money loaned out as they have on reserve. Our federal reserve system is privately owned, the government should own the federal reserve not private companies. The banks in this country keep every single person in debt for life..other countries are being infected by this same issue but in America the problem is twenty times as bad because of the lack of social service programs. We have so many people in this country without insurance, without a place to live because of the housing crisis. What will it take for Americans to wake up and say NO to 1% having everything?!

What makes it OK for banks to get a bailout, while people lost morgages and retirement funds? Why are the perpetrators getting bailouts while the American people are left at a disadvantage? We've come to a state of affairs where a politician cannot even think about being elected without making deals with the Rockefellers & JP Morgans, of our society.

No matter where we go in the world the banks control everything.. he who controls the money, controls the world. As long as our banks are run by private companies, those companies are the ones that will have more control than government. We have to say no. We must stand up, and fight for our rights as human beings.

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Where social darwinism went wrong.

Mar. 19th, 2012 | 12:50 pm

So I did a little digging. It turns out, Darwin did not propose this theory of evolution to be a theory that applied at social levels, rather it was just a way of explaining how human beings got where we are. Later, social darwinists applied this theory to human beings and coined the term 'survival of the fittest'.

My question to you is why has all this gone so horribly wrong? Why do the people who support religious devotion and surpress scientific inquiry end up being the ones with the money to fund corporations and schools, government institutions, etc.? Maybe the problem isn't with religion, which has basically almost always been around. Maybe the problem is instead with capitalism.

I have been extremely reserved in my attempts to rejoin the world, a world which is now engulfed in capitalism. A few corporations own every single media outlet, we are fed information and expected to fall in line with our now "perfect" society. The sad truth of the matter is, at the social level, social darwinism is bullshit. Someone's success, in today's economy, is owed solely to the way society operates rather than being distributed proportionally to smart, contributing members of society.

Sadly, scientists are not among our most paid, those that trade on wall street are. As long as our capitalism is based on goods, not services, we will live in inequality -- it's all too often that politicians use science as a front to their theories on government. Hitler used social theory that arised from Darwinism to explain genocide. The fact of the matter is that if there was really some kind of Evolution or Survival of the Fittest at work, our society would be completely restructured. A recent study came out that held a fake election, with fake candidates, and they found that average people, not exceptional ones, were frequently elected. The exceptional leaders stood little chance of being elected when the average citizen voted.

This opens a lot of new questions, but let me assure you, if you take a long, hard look at our society you will realize that intelligence and survival of the fittest has nothing to do with it. The "fittest" is culturally defined, which is why evangelicals hold so much wealth in American society and not in England, Germany, etc.

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Evolutionism vs. Intelligent Design

Mar. 19th, 2012 | 11:06 am
mood: crushedcrushed

I watched a really thought--provoking documentary about intelligent design and Darwinism, which pointed out that more often than not the term 'intelligent design' goes hand in hand with creationism -- and more often than not a largely mistaken war is waged between scientists just because religion gets dragged into the picture.

The fact of the matter is that we have yet to make organic material out of inorganic material. What is typical among Darwinists is the underlying assumption that all life can be traced to microscopic organisms, but what Darwinism does not answer properly is how exactly that first cell got to earth. Some serious scientists - no joke - thought that life arrived here via directed panspermia, or alien life sending life to flourish on earth. The problem is that 'intelligent design' really doesn't answer the question either, instead you get a paradoxical conclusion that follows the 'God in the Gap' fallacy. It involves equating everything we cannot explain with a more intelligent creator or higher power.

The fact of the matter is that more research needs to be done. I think now I understand why humans are looking for life in outer space and placing so much money on it.. if we can find that life evolved elsewhere, I think the intelligent design theory gets pushed off the table, seeing as how life wouldn't be so 'special' anymore. We live in a weird and wonderful universe, only time will tell where our scientific studies take us.

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The first thing people need to know.

Mar. 4th, 2012 | 07:16 pm

Personally speaking, I have been at a loss with the way our world has been progressing for some time now. It seems that everywhere you look there are so many problems, from the way our food and water are handled to the "balance of power" illusion in our governments, all beings relayed to people by news media controlled by the same people who control big business.

Yes, this seems like a conspiracy theory. The sad truth is if you look, this information is freely available on any government website. The FCC itself had to establish a commission that analyzes how fair our news is reported by certain networks. The most incredible thing, to me, is how a country built on freedom could let this happen knowingly, without thinking twice about it. This has been something I've pondered over and over, and I've come to the following conclusions:

The reason that individual freedom is so important to us is because in the end, we are the sole benefactors. Yes, in the end we come together to fight for freedom -- but what encourages us to do so is an individual cause at its roots. We don't want other people to have the power to tell us what to do, or what to think. The end result is that when those basic rights are alienated, we come together to fight for them. The average citizen has no need to get involved with activism: as long as they have the right to their property, get their morning paper, and get their morning news all is right with the world.

There is, however, a lot going on in the background that a lot of people don't bother to concern themselves with. The big issues in our countries that determine the outcome of our presedential debates: foreign policy, gay rights, abortion -- those are the big "issues" that concern us right now and many average people have opinions to share on what is right and wrong. That's great. Debate is very healthy for us. But what's not great is that the REAL issues, the ones that we need to worry about because they DO concern us, they go ignored because bringing them to the forefront every day will worry the public and cause concern. They will bring big businesses in the limelight, forcing them to take responsibility for the blatant disregard they have for the wellbeing of our plane.

We need to demand the facts and demand results. Unless something changes, we will all be paying the price sooner than later.

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This says it all.

Mar. 2nd, 2012 | 09:55 pm

POOH CORNER MEDICATIONS#17 In a Series of Pop-Cultural Charts I’m not actually a certified psychiatrist, but then again, these characters aren’t actually real. (Oh, and look at this other Winnie-The-Pooh thing I once did.) 

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Alternative Cancer Therapies - Part 2: How to tell the Good from the Bad

Mar. 2nd, 2012 | 09:09 pm
location: toxic, alternative therapies, chemicals, illness, medicine,
mood: bitchybitchy

In my previous post I have outlined how the FDA Approval {Process fosters a monopoly of the medical market. The pharmaceutical industry is driven by consumer needs, namely quick fix pills for diseases and illnesses plaguing our country on a large scale. Cancer has been around for a long time, and billions of dollars goes into finding a cure and understanding the disease.

The advertising campaigns we see on television speak to America: help us find a cure. However, what might not be known to the average lay person is that doctors, at this point, understand that cancer is just a broad term for cellular death and degeneration, and replication of abnormal cells. Even breast cancer comes in many different forms, different types of tumors. Therefore, when a promising medicine is discovered, it is typically only for a specific type of tumor rather than an all-encompassing cure.

The Gerson Therapy emerged in 1928 when Max Gerson discovered that natural, unprocessed fruits and vegetables have amazing benefits to human beings. The word discovered is inappropriate here, because I think a fact such as this should be obvious to every person, however the emergence of big business and society's expansion on an enormous scale called for mass production of food -- and consequentially our need to believe that organic foods and farming is not necessary for human health. Either way, his method proved to be affective for not only cancer but a variety of other ailments - migraines, the common cold, etc.

During his early years of treatment, he saw a lot of success in the medical community. Doctors respected his methods, and were eager to prescribe his diet to patients and see results. So why have doctors today completely changed their minds? Well, not all of them have. In fact, doctors in Sweden, Germany, and other countries advocate this diet to their patients and the major players that have spoken out against the Gerson Therapy are the ones that have an investment with big institutions - the head of the US Cancer Society, Havard Medical School, etc.

The lesson that needs to be learned here is that the only people who speak out against holistic medicine are those that have investments with Pharmaceutical companies, who cannot patent natural foods and medicines. Regardless if you want to believe the bullshit they sell in opposed to the theory, there is absolutely no harm that can come from switching to a natural diet and using it in conjunction with more harmful treatments prescribed by doctors to see results.

People need to stop being ignorant, however, in the sense that often this 'holistic approach' is taken way too far. The reason that therapies like The Gerson Method get a bad name is because people take the 'pharmaceutical industry conspiracy' way too far, and sadly sometimes they lose their lives as a result. Vitamin C does not cure AIDS, Cancer, or anything else. Thinking like this enables doctors to look at holistic therapies and speak out against them, citing people who have been ignorant and avoided taken medicines that have PROVED effective -- opting instead of quack remedies made up by authors who just play on these conspiracy theories to make a buck.

Our societies biggest problems, by far, are caused by obesity and diet. Heart Disease is a plague worse than cancer, effecting a staggering number of people in our society. What people refuse to accept is that there is no pill, no quick fix, that can enable them to eat twinkies by the truckload and remain healthy. This is what people want, an impossible fix. It's not going to happen. This is also why The Gerson Therapy is so effective, because it goes back to the cause of all these illnesses and reforms an individual's diet. No preservatives, MSG, synthetic color or flavor.

In the 1940's companies like Dow Chemical and Monsanto were opened to develop chemicals that have never been found in nature, that alone should raise enough concern -- if something is not found in nature, chances are there is no room for it. It's a wonder that any doctor ever speaks out about the Gerson Therapy, but they continue to do so largely funded by the same companies who poison people. It's a never ending cycle, until the earth is polluted to the point where it cannot sustain life. That will be the wake up call, that came too late..

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Alternative Cancer Therapies - Part 1: The FDA Approval Process, Etc.

Mar. 2nd, 2012 | 02:15 am
mood: aggravatedaggravated

My new found stance as a die-hard skeptic has brought me face to face with an issue I didn't want to give too much thought about at first, mostly because it was an issue that hit very close to home. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, had to undergo 2 surgeries, was put on a preventative medicine to keep it from recurring, and turned out to be part of the 2% of people who got cervical cancer as a "side effect". Thankfully, they were able to treat that -- but the fear still remains every time she goes back for her annual scans that they might find some kind of recurrence.

There are a couple issues I have with alternative medicines, and I have formulated a theory about alternative cures. My theory is this: alternative cures do not exist. There is no such thing as one substance, found in nature, that will cure a certain disease. The only time a certain vitamin can cure an ailment is when the direct cause of the ailment is lack of that vitamin/ or mineral in a person's blood (for example: scurvy). If there is some kind of magical vitamin/mineral/ or other plant derivative that cures an ailment on its own, it has yet to be found.

The Pharmaceutical Monopoly (as fostered by the FDA)

However, I DO believe that the medical industry will do its best to silence cures that involve a change in lifestyle and diet because they cannot make money off of it. After analyzing the requirements the FDA imposes on drug trials, I realized that it's clear the so called "scientific method" they insist is necessary for evaluating a treatment can only be effective in evaluating treatments that are specifically chemical in nature -- In other words, they can only test the effectiveness of drugs synthesized in a lab. This is especially good news for big drug companies, who conveniently are the only groups who have enough money to fund research as well as the high cost for 3 phases of clinical trials required for the approval of a new drug.

I was recently browsing a science news website when I found an article reporting that new estimates are coming out that reveal a staggering 1 BILLION dollar price tag involved in putting a new drug out on the market. This took into account the amount of money lost on drugs that never make it to the consumer, so to better put it in perspective there is a better article located here. The bottom line is that the pharmaceutical companies have a monopoly on the drug market, and it is one of the top grossing industries in the world. This is not a secret, it's not contested by any doctor or news agency.

What IS a secret, apparently, is that those same pharmaceutical companies are having a ridiculously massive affect on every doctor, from the family physician to the same doctors who run their trials. They invest huge sums of money into developing new drugs, so why do we find it so shocking when news reports of trials being 'fudged' come out in the media? What's worse is that our shock and disgust is aimed toward the shameful, big bad doctor -- but considering the way these gross misconducts come to light in the news I guess it shouldn't be surprising. The news makes it seem like the doctors and researchers underreported their negative trial results because they didn't want their years of work tossed out as a failure, or they wanted the drug to succeed to gain professional recognition and be paid money to speak at conferences in promotion of the drug.

Drug Companies That Silence News Media

You probably don't recall the episode Fox News ran in Florida about the Bovine Growth Hormone causing all kinds of ailments in people consuming the end product of cows treated with rBGH. A group of Fox 8 Investigators decided to write a piece investigating if the concerns held by the public were real or could be explained away due to common myth and misconceptions. During their investigation, they uncovered that while the FDA approved it; Canadian and UK health officials did not approve the its use due to the hormone's ability to be absorbed by the human body from the milk. After putting the story together, Fox received a fax from Monsanto's lawyers that threatened legal action and because the reporters refused to keep quiet they were subsequently fired from their jobs.

The bottom line is, if we want the truth about drugs we can't rely on the media to do their job. When a drug is exposed to have much more deadly side effects than those published in drug trials, the fall guy is always the lead scientists and researchers who worked on the drug trials. We blame the scientists for hiding the negative trial results, when in reality they are coerced into doing this by the pharmacuetical giants who have invested tens of millions of dollars to get this drug on the market. When the fallout occurs, the financial penalty might sound substantial to the average consumer but in comparison to how much profit these companies bring in the penalty is the equivalent of a slap on the wrist. That's right.. you ruined countless lives and killed god knows how many people prematurely, but here -- pay this fine -- and go ahead, do it again!

The Bottom Line
The case described above is an extreme. Where does this all tie into cancer research? We can take an example from the anti-depressant market: the highest efficacy an anti-depressant has, regardless of it's mechanism of action, has never reached higher than 25-30%. The STAR*D Trials, whose results were highly anticipated, examined a number of different anti-depressants that all had varying mechanisms of actions (re-uptake inhibitors of serotonin, dopamine, both, etc.). They found that although each medicine targeted different neurotransmitters, that made no difference in outcome. Although Big Pharma did not like it's conclusions, they could do nothing about it's release -- the study was independently funded and highly publicized. What's worse is that the 25-30% results were only achieved WITH therapy and minimal, and I mean MINIMAL results were seen with drugs alone.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), on the other hand, has produced tremendous results for depression. When studies were initially done, before the advent of any anti-depressants (with the exception of Prozac), it showed amazingly effective results. Now, studies are showing that people are asking for anti-depressants and are likely to try several medications before actually undertaking a commitment to CBT or any other kind of structuralized therapy regimen. Big Pharma is succeeding because our society is so accustomed to medicines that we expect a 'quick fix' to just about everything. So in this way, its not completely their fault -- we are enabling these companies because of our ignorance and impatience.

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Mar. 1st, 2012 | 04:04 am
mood: bitchybitchy

The one night I go to bed at a decent time, I got woken up by my mom at about 1:30 A.M. - apparently the entire Warrensville Hts area lost power and since my mom works as a building manager for an assisted living property they are required to have staff on site when the elevators aren't in service. Unfortunately I was feeling in a generous mood so I figured how long could it take?

Well, at 1:00 am we arrive on site.. at that point they said 3:30 would be the latest the power would be back on. I called them back at 3:30 and then they said 5:30, and to make it worse they were still trying to figure out what happened to the cause the power outage in the first place (let alone repair the issue..). By that point I was already done with my coffee so getting any sleep was just wishful thinking, but I figured as long as I was going to be sitting around I might as well run home and get my nook.

You'd think the nightmare would end there, but I got home to find my dog laying all over the leather furniture. Of course we figured since she was sleeping when we left she would be okay until we got back, but no.. I come home and the bitch has my mom's favorite bracelet in her mouth like a chew toy!!! So now I guess I'm just gonna stay home with her and wait for my mom to get back, she's gonna have her maintenance man give her a ride.

What a night.

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